Monday, October 10, 2011

Narcissist - Perhaps

I can't give up knowing that I am important in the general scheme ofthings. After all, I'm a cell in the midst of a mighty organ, the organ ofhumanity. And, I know that one day I must slough off from the human maelstrom and mingle with thefibres of the flannel sheets in the dead of night.

However, right now I am important. I do serve a purpose. I do what mustbe done and a whole lot that probably ought not be done. I work in conjunctionwith all kinds of other cells. Together we make life more interesting,smoother, more energetic than life would be if we were not present.

I am not a cell in an organ like an arm or leg. More like a liver cell,I think. I am responsible for filtering out the flatulence, the fat, thealcohol, the stuff without which the body deals with reality in a fairlycomfortable manner.

My job is to assure that life flows smoothly, that the unit itselfdoesn't have to give much conscious thought about how to operate. I amself-directed and at the same time a genuine necessity.

However, I am decidedly not essential in and of myself.

If I were to decide tomorrow to sleep in, the organ would continue tosift through the detritus of life, but the other cells who did show up on timemight have to expend a tad more energy.

I am not narcissistic although sometimes it may seem so. On the otherhand, I do take credit when credit is due and I do whinge when things don't gowell. I hate it when the organ of which I am a part breaks down and I am notable to do the best job possible because someone else in the scheme of thingsfails in her duty.

And since I suspect my main motivating force is to do unto others as Iwould want them to do unto me, I will cooperate, even though often I think Iknow better than my peers and despair of their ever coming to terms with lifein the way that I have. Did I say I was not narcissistic? Well, obviouslythat's not true. My existence is essential and I don't mean to allow the organto forget that.