Saturday, October 08, 2005

The Hard thing is to get slowed down

Saturday morning! I can hear the neighbors on their veranda having morning coffee/tea..maybe here in Oz. Their voices are soft and involved. You can hear them caring about what each other is saying... I wonder how often the same is true here at our house. We have our brekky on the back veranda most days and always have some sort of discussion in the midst of our oatmeal.

Today I am up early. Last night I crashed early...unlike me, but I was buggered by 9:30 and having difficulty keeping my eyes open. We had been watching TV..always a dopifying experience in the best of times. The detective show we had been watching was a Brit thriller. Not badly done, but I had been up early yesterday and I just wanted my pillow.

But on to the title of today's entry, The hard thing is to get slowed down. Isn't this absoutely the truth. Even in retirement..and I am way into retirement, it is so hard to just slow down the motors of my mind, to let go when the wilderness presents itself.

This past week, G and I traveled to Tasmania, the north west coast, to do a little hiking in the temperate rain forests of Cradle Mountain. My greatest difficulty was slowing down, giving nature a chance to complete her processes, to rain and blow until blue skies once again mixed with cloud cover so that we could walk the byways of this extra ordinary country.

G asked me several times what might be wrong. I had difficulty just allowing my book to entertain me. There was really not much else I could do but wait out the weather. But there was that interior push to make things happen more quickly, to create a scedule that matched the speed with which my mind was moving.

I'm never sure what my rush it. How come I have to move so quickly, make decisions so rapidly. It would seem far more productive to allow the pattern of my days to mirror those of nature herself. There is dawn and there is sunset. There is the Butcher Bird greeting the dawn along with the Kookaburra and then there is the busy fruit bats just after sunset munching on the palm nuts in the front garden. There are amazing moments in between that have nothing to do with my need to accomplish..what? Just what is it that I tend to think I must accomplish. Maybe just completing the day with a smile of satisfaction at the end ought to be enough.